Families. That’s what people look to when times are at their hardest. Unfortunatly, my family is unimportant to me. I haven’t spoken to my mother ever since I graduated. I don’t like to get into all of that family stuff. I consider myself a loner. A man who thinks or himeself and no one else. I also found a new hobby.

I hate the good guys. I was never too fond of heroes. Whenever I see somebody on the news when they save a life, I scowel. Anybody would have done the same thing when the situation was right. Why him? Why not me? I’ll tell you why not. Because I feel no satisfaction in saving a life. It bores me. It just seems to mainstream. The idea of taking away a life instead of giving it exsites me. All of a life’s work gone with one strike of the knife. Now that’s what being alive is all about.

The idea of throwing away all of the valuble people also makes me jumpy. I love it when I feel the power inside of me when I kill a great person. It would be really great to tell a person to bow down but to kill him without giving him a reason or chance to live is empowering. I guess I’m your modern day Roman emporor. Killing people on the spot is my way to get the blood pumping.

I thought of all of this while laying on my couch and staring at the ceiling. All while I had a stupid grin on my face. Thoughts kept on running for the next hour until I figured out that I had to kill another person. I want to kill another meaningful person. A person who will be on the news and make people cry. I want to laugh at the news and announce, “Hahaha fuckers! That was me!” to my television.

But there’s just one issue: I need to be more careful with myself. I can’t just leave a body laying on the ground, drowning in a pool of his own blood. I have to leave behiend no trace. I need the police to think a person is missing instead of killed. I have to get away from society and somehow blend in. That was also my basic rule for high school.

Guns? Fuck guns. Guns are too easy. You can kill a man many yards away with a gun but with a knife, you have to be only inches away in order to register a murder. Up close and personal. I want to see the victim’s deepest emotions before he dies.

I’m sorry, I’ve used the word, “he” too much. I’m not a sexiest or anything. Women are open to being murdered too. But women are too delicate and fragile. Men are tuff and rusty. It just seams like an unfair advantage on my part if I killed a woman. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, I’m just saying that there will be more male blood shed. Now I’m just talking out of my ass.

I need to get away from these yogurt colored walls and do something. Something just to kill the time. I like killing things.